Gather round boys and girls cause I'm about to cross the line from "semi-crazy" to "that girl's cheese done slid right off her cracker." (A nod and wink to anyone that knows where I borrowed that line from.)
Last week I was somewhat confident about my chances of making it into the next round of the Amazon contest. But that was then. This is now. And now I'm second guessing every paragraph, and critiquing every word choice. Did I over-use adverbs? Is my sentence structure too weak? My character development lacking? Should I have had something blow up in the first chapter? Then my main character could've swaggered away from the explosion in slow motion. I always love those scenes in movies. Why, oh-why didn't I include one?! Sure, it would've nothing what-so-ever to do with the story, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT! And what about a vampire?! Isn't there some sort of rule for Young Adult books right now that they have to have a vampire in them? I could've thrown one in somewhere in the background, like a prop. Instead of a lamp in the corner, they could have a vampire. I could make it work! Wait! What about a vampire lamp?! Maybe that should be my main character! Is it too late for a rewrite? AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
*Pant, pant, pant*
It's too much pressure. I changed my mind. I don't want to know if I made the next round or not. Instead I'm going to move into a cave far from the reach of the Internet, or any other media/communication source that could leak the news to me. My only writing shall be cave drawings depicting how I use a hairbrush and dental floss to hunt for rabbits. Tell my children I love them.
On second thought, this rant has me feeling a little better. Maybe I'll cancel that cave reservation. Instead I'll keep myself as busy as possible today. Tomorrow I'll pull on my big girl panties, steal my nerves, and accept the results as they are given. Possibly after throwing up a little bit--but I'll play that part by ear.