There is a war going on in my home. It's been an ugly, violate battle and there has been one reported casualty thus far. The lines have been firmly drawn in the fight of me versus every single flingin', flangin' electronic device I own.
The first shots were fired when my laptop refused to deliver my query letter to the publishing house that CYNTHIA'S ATTIC author Mary Cunningham referred me to. I tried four times to breech the stubborn machine's defenses to no avail. I countered by dropping my iPhone in a toilet I had just flushed. Take that technology! FYI- iPhone does NOT make an app that can withstand a swirly. Granted I took this loss harder than anyone, but I feel I made my point to the laptop that I could kill it and make it look like an "accident" if it continues not to cooperate. In retaliation the machines sent the new Blackberry Torch to replace the iPhone. Clearly this infuriating contraption is a spy. It's slow service and limited capabilities have been specially designed as a cruel torture to send me spiraling over the edge into madness. (At this point it would be a short fall. Like tripping over a curb.) I have yet to plan my next move. Better judgement is telling me seeing if the Blackberry Torch can fly if I whip it out the window is too crass for this strategic battle.
Lucky for me I have found allies along the way. The president/editor of Echelon Press gave me another email address to try that the laptop couldn't seem to hinder. My darling husband contacted the phone store and notified them that if they wanted their Blackberry to make it out alive they needed to get an iPhone back in my hands pronto. And the nice salesman at the store understood my unhappiness with the traitorous phone and vowed to give me a full refund when it's replacement arrives. With these brave people standing behind me I maybe victorious in my rage against the machines. Or, they could overcome me and turn me into a half-human, half-cyborg mutation that wears pitch black sunglasses and mutters menacing lines like, "I'll be back." It's all really up in the air right now. Stay tuned.